


All these pieces

by Zeros83



Category: Crush - Camboys AU, เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Camboys, Angst, M/M, Mark best boy forever and ever, Not Crush canon, alcohol mention, drug mention, fluff and feelings, no plot only angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeros83/pseuds/Zeros83
Summary: Mark is back in Bangkok, but thoughts of his ex Tutor never left him, not really.There's a hidden place, Mark sometimes muses, where all the other stories live. The possibilities that didn’t become true.
Relationships: Tutor (Why R U?: The Series)/Mark (OC)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16





	All these pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Crush - Phase 0 (tell me about the dream)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648411) by [Grave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grave/pseuds/Grave), [marked4war](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marked4war/pseuds/marked4war). 



> This story is NOT CANONICAL TO "CRUSH" in any way, shape, or form.  
> NOT.  
> CANON.  
> AT ALL.  
> Canon? Never heard of her.  
> This is just my brain running wild with the little we know about Mark at this point (from "Crush" and various CC asks) and in particular with the last sentence of [this](https://curiouscat.qa/crush_camboys/post/1175987517) CC.  
> And when I say my brain ran wild with those 6 words, I mean it.  
> Again: THIS IS NOT CANONICAL. Not in relation to WHY R U? and not in relation to "Crush".  
> Are we good? Good, let's go!

There's a hidden place, Mark sometimes muses, where all the other stories live. The possibilities that didn’t become true.  
In that hidden place, there's a Mark who never came to Bangkok for uni, but stayed back in the tiny village where he grew up. A Mark who is engaged with Dao, his highschool girlfriend, and who’s planning their wedding. A Mark who works at his father’s shop, and each night before bed smokes a single cigarette, tucked away on the rooftop of his house, staring at the sky and wondering what could have been different.  
There’s the Mark who came to Bangkok but never stumbled into Tutor at that bar, so no chance for everything that followed. At best, that Mark saw a glimpse of Tor somewhere around the university, but that’s it, they never talked. Instead, that Mark met a guy, let’s call him North, and he and North dated and were the kind of couple that beams with happiness and is the favorite of the campus shippers. Despite that, when Mark got the chance to go study in England, he was quick to take it, he couldn’t let it slip away, and at some point the long-distance relationship with North fizzled out. It just happened, with no drama or fuss, they just acknowledged it and moved on. When a friend from his same course, let’s call her Sylvia, said she wanted to go to her first Pride parade but felt uneasy, Mark said he'd go with her, and that was the first of many dates. When he and Sylvia graduated, that Mark simply chose to stay in England with her and build a new life there.  
He's sure there are many Mark, in that hidden place.  
Some studied different things and went into very different careers.  
Some met the wrong people along the road, or made a different choice here or there that resulted in a different outcome.  
He’s sure that in some cases, their stories diverged from his so radically he’d probably be hard-pressed to recognize some of those paths as belonging to a version of himself.  
He likes to think there's one Mark in particular.  
A Mark who had a great-uncle who died unexpectedly. As a consequence, that Mark's family got an equally unexpected inheritance. Nothing huge, but enough to let money be a little less tight and life a little more comfortable. Enough that when it came time to go to uni, Mark didn't have to juggle three part-time jobs, just one was enough to allow him to feel independent and pay for his more frivolous wants. And when he met Tutor, it was a slightly different Tutor. A Tutor whose father hadn't screwed up the life of his whole family. A Tutor who hadn’t had to get into camming to make enough quick and steady cash to keep his family’s creditors at bay. A Tutor who had fewer layers of emotional armor, who wasn't that tightly wounded with fear regarding his future and his family's situation. Those Mark and Tutor met, maybe at that same club where Clash were playing, or maybe somewhere else, but they hit it off from the first moment. They spent the whole night talking and joking and barely keeping their hands off of each other, just to end up in Mark’s bedroom, the tiredness gone from their bodies as it had never been there before. They went on date after date, and it was good, and that relationship just... worked.  
There isn’t any big secret to the success of those two’s relationship, it was just the right time for them both. They both were in the right emotional place, and when that Mark let that Tutor into his life, it didn’t have to feel like a new lease on life. It just felt… natural, and easy. As natural and easy as breathing, as refreshing as letting yourself sink in a pool on a stifling day. It felt right that first day, and it never ever stopped feeling the natural thing to invest in, to pour his energies on. When that Mark had an opportunity to go to England, he agonized over whether to go or not, but in the end Tor convinced him to take the chance. And even if it was a long-distance relationship, six time zones apart, he and Tor made it work, because neither wanted to lose the other. When that Mark landed back in Thailand, the first person he saw at the airport was Tor, and from there on they spent as much time as possible together to get back some of the lost time. They’re probably spending New Year’s Eve at Hwa’s place right now, trying to time a quickie in the bathroom with the moment when Sai will play the guitar and Zon will sing some cheesy romantic song that he feels goes well with the occasion. They’re for sure surrounded by friends and having fun while waiting for another year to spend together, while instead…  
Instead, here Mark is.  
Alone.  
Working, on what is a night of celebration for so many people.  
Still wondering if there’s a chance to rebuild that relationship and make it work, now that he’s back in Thailand.  
Wondering if there’s even a sliver of hope of talking Tor into trying again and make those Mark and Tor and their happiness pale in comparison.  
Because this Mark would like to try, even now, as he’s standing behind the counter of a bar, surrounded by a sea of filthy rich assholes who wear fancy clothes and are already well on the way to a festive drunken stupor before it’s even 11 pm.  
These people live their lives with no thoughts, one party at a time, one line of coke at a time, and probably have never had a serious regret ever in their lives.  
They don’t waste a single moment imagining how radically different their lives could have been. They don’t feel like the love of their life slipped away because it was all _wrong_ even if it should have been all _right_. They don’t know the agony of walking away from someone you love because you both know that your relationship isn’t working and that there’s no way to fix it right now. They have never known the feeling that being together is more pain than anything else. That nagging feeling that you and the man you love were never meant to be.  
These assholes just coast by, oblivious to the true depth of their luck. Like the woman strutting towards the bar right now. Not many women would wear a pantsuit with no shirt or bra, and she definitely has the body and self-confidence to pull it off, but Mark would bet that she had her last interesting thought around the time she started high school, and that was it. Too much partying, narcissism, and fucking around after that for her to allow depth or regrets to have a place in her life.  
She smiles like a cat who saw the mouse and places her clutch on the bar. Mark plasters on his face his most professional smile, the one that’s all blinding charm. The one behind which Tor could always effortlessly see.  
“What can I do for you, ma’am?” Mark asks, banishing all thoughts of Tor, lest they spoil his professional act and decrease his chances of a good tip.  
The woman’s predatory grin widens even more as she licks the corner of her lip, before saying:  
“I have a few ideas…”  
Of course she has.  
Decisions, decisions…  
It’s barely ten-thirty. It’s gonna be a long, long night. Might as well make it a bit more bearable.  
Mark leans forward, stares the woman right in the eyes, and in a charming tone says:  
“Then let’s hear them.”  
Who knows, maybe after this conversation other stories will find their way into the hidden place that contains all that could have been…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this story! I hope you liked it, and if so, I'd like to ask you to leave a comment, they mean a lot for creators.  
> Again, this is NOT CANON, it is just born from my mind, don't go pester anyone else about it because everything happening here is the fault of my inner 15yo and of nobody else.  
> Thanks to @Grave and @typetharns for creating such a vibrant AU and OCs. We've barely seen Mark and yet I had to write this little story. These two truly have got the power!


End file.
